Dear Blog:
I apologize for neglecting you over the past few months. You see, one day I got home from work and sitting on my couch were two men dressed in black suits. Turns out they were from the CIA. Recruiting they said. I laughed. BIG mistake because the next thing I knew I'm in a foreign country wearing a black suit. Yes the very same suit those "CIA agents" had on, in the dead of summer. Why must it be wool? I am not sure why but people kept referring to me as Agent 99. One of life's mysteries I guess.
But back to why my blogging entries have been more absent than present. During my time in many foreign lands, I had suspected something was amiss. My instincts proved correct and my life as Agent 99 must disappear forever - or someone was going to do that for me. So of course I did what anyone else fearing for their life would do. Pack a bag and head to India to hike the Himalayas. Really, who would find me out there? Maybe Bear Grylls (Seriously though. You can never count out a person who finds enjoyment in eating nasty bugs and meat from dead carcasses!). What was supposed to be a few days in the mountains turned out to be more. Like 3 weeks. I was just trying to throw off those crazy Russians in the first place. Maybe it was the bright orange shirt I was wearing. Or that awesome signal fire I made but I was eventually found. Thankfully it wasn't the Russians. My good buddies, the "CIA agents" just happened to be the ones to rescue me. I quickly learned this was no accident. I was informed immediately that I must go into protective custody. You see, during my time as Agent 99 I stumbled upon some documents that were evidently not supposed to be seen. The person who was supposed to shred that material apparently didn't get the memo.
Well, lucky for me I did and you know what that luck got me? Me holed up for one too many days in a house with pink and green walls in the middle of Podunk, Wisconsin. And since no one could know my whereabouts, any electronics were a no no. So, what I thought was only going to be a few days between blog posts (because I was going to blog that very same day those two "CIA agents" showed up at my place) turned out to be quite a few more. Ok, more than just a few. I began to tally the days of no blogging because what else is there to do in Podunk, WI? Days turned to weeks. Weeks turned into months. I thought for sure I was setting records by my 3rd and 4th months. Just when I thought my name would be etched into history, a knock came to my door letting my know I was free to go. Turns out what I saw wasn't such a big deal after all. Knowing I would be in the Guinness Book of World Records eased my anger for the ordeal I had just been through. I was fairly confident about my world record setting days of being blog free, but that confidence was quickly replaced with shock and I might add a little embarrassment. I was only short of the record by a few hundred million days. Oh well. Maybe next time.
So with all that has happened, I suppose I can't use that as an excuse because I've been busy in the past and had time to blog. At least about something. And currently I can't even use being busy as an excuse. Because I'm not. I am actually anything but busy. Maybe I am going through writers block and have nothing to say. Or it could be that I am suffering from topic withdrawal. I mean really. The life of a missing protective custody world record breaking CIA agent can't be that interesting. Of course when life is interesting and at its busiest, those are the times to blog. However regardless of life being not busy or life being not presently interesting there is always something to blog about. So my dearest blog. It is I who will commence from this day forth to do my best. To always make sure that days and weeks and months don't pass on by without a post from yours truly. I promise I will make it worth your while!
Live. Laugh. Love.
Nikki
